Guardian Angels

Have you ever had self doubts and fears? Fears of failure, of success, of change, etc...? They can sabotage you and it's your own doing. I've been having this inner battle with sharing my writing on another level .. Despite myself, things are falling into place for a joint venture to possibly put together a book of poetry along with another's wonderful photo's. I have lots of support from the outside; it's my inside that holds me back.... "am I good enough?", "am I worthy?" , the "should I's?"..... I was away at a kind of a Spiritual Retreat this past weekend and was given even more positive reinforcement on this potential venture.... After I attended a workshop on Friday night, I couldn't go to sleep so I sat on the porch to meditate. It wasn't long before I had to find pen and paper..... So here goes another one.....

Guardian Angels

Of Love and Light and Spirit be

Forever fighting to be free

Let go of fear and let go of fright

Guardian Angels guide me tonight

Be still and go inside and see

The Light of Hope that lives in me

My fear it stops me from my gift

If I would let go my fears would lift

Look to the Light that shines from above

Let in the Spirit, be filled with Love

So write dear pen and open the mind

Let me see Light and not be blind

Please guide my hand to touch your face

Fill my heart with your Healing Grace

For with you my Angel as my guide

I know God's Light will now abide

You guided my hand and my heart it follows

Gliding across paper as a flight of swallows

Let my imagination take wings and fly

As to doubts and fears; I say Good Bye

For my Guardian Angels to do their task

I get on my knees, open my heart and ask

I thank you dear Spirit with all of my heart

You've Blessed me and now I must do my part

written with Love and Light and a Thankful heart;

by Nina P. 8/14/09

Written for a friend battling Cancer.....

The only words that came out were, "this really sucks..."
Sometimes thats all that can be said to describe situations
beyond our control. Below is a result of the overwhelming
feelings that come up/out when life doesn't seem fair.

WHEN LIFE REALLY SUCKS

There are those times when life really sucks
And you just want to say "What the Muck!!!!"

At those times when all seems lost
You just want out regardless the cost

It's at these times you must let in
Those you trust that make you grin

When life gets hard just grab a hand
And hang on tight to make a band

Walk with Faith and look above
For even in hardship, you'll find Love

So shed a tear and curse a bit
If it were me, I'd throw a fit

Let anger fuel you in your fight
Faith and friends will give you might

Whatever you think whatever you do
Let in a friend, we care for you

You need a punching bag or a hug?
Or just to holler, you’re never a bug

A kick in the pants, we're there as well
Maybe a laugh..., oh what the hell.

We'll listen and be there through it all
With friends and Faith you won't fall

So, on this road when life's really a suck
Find Faith and know it's not all luck

With friends and family and God above
Through this fight you'll find Peace and Love

You'll win this battle and come out strong
And you won't be alone be it short or long

Just one last thing I want to say
You'll be in my prayers everyday.

Written with Love and Prayers,
Nina Ploetz (1/7/09)

In 10 years

Ten years ago I took a belly dance class. Since then, while I have done some learning and practicing on my own with "electronic instruction" (DVDs) I've never taken another live class. Now looking back and realizing it's been 10 years, I'm feeling a bunch of regret that I didn't stick with it. I could have been darn good after 10 years!

At the time, the reasons for not signing up for another class seemed important. My friend was not continuing, not a lot of time, money for dance lessons, dinky little apartment (How would I practice moving around?), shyness. Dance in public?! "Everyone will see how bad I am."

So what? 10 years later, these reasons seem trivial. Maybe I'd never be the one to dance solo in a restaurant with all those people looking and eating around me. A lot can happen in 10 years? Who knows. I could have thrived on that experience.

It's not too late. I'm 10 years older but I'm not bedridden. (Thank you universe.)
Do I want to try again? Absolutely!

Are the issues of the past gone?

* I've got a larger living room to practice in. Its not huge, but it will do.
* Unfortunately, I still don't have bunch of extra money for dance classes. I do however have some DVDs. That's a start. Two days of following one and I'm already sore. I'll use those while I'm saving up for the lessons.
* Am I still shy? Well...Yes. Not as shy. I still can't see myself doing a solo in a room full of people. BUT I'll dance with a few others. Who knows once I feel more confident the whole world could be my stage. OK, not really...maybe?

Regret happens.
I've found it is only debilitating when you don't or can't do anything to fix the situation. Ten years from now I want to look back and say "Yes, I did that." However it works out, at least I tried and didn't quit because I was afraid or thought I couldn't scrape up the money for lessons.

(The picture is me in a hip scarf that I got for my birthday 3 years ago.)