Necessary Heartbreak by Michael J. Sullivan - Book Blog Tour

Necessary Heartbreak: A Novel of Faith and Forgiveness
By Michael J. Sullivan
Simon and Schuster; $15.00

What if you could go back to the time of Jesus, to the very final week when he entered Jerusalem to fulfill his destiny?

What if you were there that night in the garden when the soldiers came to take him away – would you stop them?

What if you came upon Judas before he hung himself, and you could talk him into returning the 30 pieces of silver, and save the life of Jesus?

What if you were the one chosen to help Jesus carry the crossbars to Golgotha – would you bear the burden for this beaten man?

All these questions and much more are examined in Michael J. Sullivan’s novel, “Necessary Heartbreak,” a fascinating, and thought-provoking fictional account of one man’s struggle with family, faith and forgiveness.


Synopsis:

An extraordinary journey back in time shows a struggling single dad that the faith he’s lost is still alive—and stronger than ever. . . .Michael Stewart has weathered his share of hardships: a troubled childhood, the loss of his mother, even the degradation of living on the city streets.

Now he’s raising his teenaged daughter, Elizabeth, on his own and doing the best he can at work and at home. But he’s turned his back on his faith—that is, until the morning Michael and Elizabeth volunteer for a food pantry at their local church. While storing boxes in the basement, they step through a mysterious door . . . and find themselves in first-century Jerusalem during the tumultuous last week of Jesus Christ’s life.

It is a dangerous and violent place, where doing what your heart tells you is right can get you imprisoned—or worse—and they are thankful to take refuge with a kind widow. But when they come face-to-face with Judas Iscariot and the condemned Christ himself, Michael realizes that before they can escape Jerusalem, he must experience history’s most necessary and shattering heartbreak—and that pain and loss must happen if Michael is to be set free: to live, love, and reclaim the blessings he has in the present day.

Biography:



Michael J. Sullivan is an author and sports writer living in New York who graduated from St. John's University, and is a member of the McDonald's All-American Selection Boys Basketball Committee and the Parade All-American Selection Committee. Michael hosted sports radio shows on WGBB on Long Island, NY, and WEVD 1050AM in New York City, as well as worked with ESPN and Sporting News.

In addition to writing the When Time Forgets series, Michael covers high school and college sports for Fox-owned Scout.com, which involves daily activity on ten to twelve message boards as well as writing approximately 100 articles each month.

Michael has published a number of books through established trade houses, including the trivia book So You Think You're a New Yorker, which was an iconic work lauded by columnist Cindy Adams. In addition, he published seven sports-themed books for children through Enslow, and a volume of a children's book series through HarperCollins.

Check out Sullivan’s website at www.whentimeforgets.com for more information on the book, the upcoming sequel and Sullivan’s blog.

My Thoughts:

I wasn’t sure what to expect from this novel before opening the first pages. I surely didn’t expect to find a story that made me stop and questions my own faith and wonder what would I do if faced with the same circumstances! This is a powerful, fast-paced story that captures your attention and doesn’t let go until the very last paragraph. The characters are well-rounded, and Sullivan gives the reader glimpses into their back story through memories and dreams, while keeping the action well centered on the story at hand.

“Necessary Heartbreak” is the first book in what is planned to be a trilogy, and I look forward to more of Michael, Elizabeth, and Leah’s story to come. I wholeheartedly recommend “Necessary Heartbreak” to anyone who likes well-written faith-based fiction.

I received a review copy of "Necessary Heartbreak" from the publisher, and was not compensated for this review.

A Springtime Trio of Devotional Books for Women

Devotional books are generally books that contain stories, prayers, and other writings that encourage the reader to have a closer relationship with God. And there are specific devotional books for nearly interest under the sun.

Rebecca Barlow Jordan, author of several devotionals, including “40 Days In God’s Presence,” has three new books written specifically for women, mothers and grandmothers.

“Day-votions For Mothers,” “Day-votions for Women,” and “Day-votions For Grandmothers” are charming little books with cheery covers, and spiritually encouraging messages and stories contained within.

Written to encourage women to have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with God and others Jordan touches on subjects that women can relate to – busyness, time management (or lack of), friendships, marital relationships – all things that women, moms and grandmothers encounter on a daily basis.

Drawing on personal experiences and experiences of others, many of Jordan’s stories are light, some are emotional, but all are faith-filled. Each devotion is accompanied by a “Day-break” – a question that encourages the reader to think about how the story might apply to their life; a “Day-brief” – a short synopsis of the theme of the story; and a “Day-votedly Yours” – a short prayer of thanksgiving or encouragement that ties in with each story.

“Day-votions For Moms” is filled with stories of parenting and all the unique challenges that go with the job of being “Mom.” From the moment of birth to letting go on the first day of kindergarten to celebrating the empty nest, Jordan covers all the bases and offers hope and encouragement to mothers with gentle reminders to take care of themselves as well as their families.

“Day-votions For Grandmothers” finds Jordan celebrating the joyous realms of being a grandparent with stories of offering advice to knowing when to back off, and knowing when to be available to just provide a shoulder to cry on.

“Day-votions for Women” speaks to women of all walks of life, touching on friendships, relationships, and all emotions from joy to exhaustion.

Each of these books offer a few moments a day of refreshing, spirit-filled encouragement. Perfect for gifts, or for personal use, Jordan’s devotional books are like sitting on a sunny front porch having a cozy chat with an understanding friend over tea and cookies.

Check out Rebecca Barlow Jordan's website (http://www.rebeccabarlowjordan.com/) for more information on these devotional books plus several others that she has written.

These books were provided to me for review by Zondervan Books and no compensation was received.

Mimme

A Tiffany rose, like the ones in my Mimme's old garden

I got a phone call on Sunday, January 10 while I was getting ready for church. I expected it to be one of the volunteers I work with who was calling in sick. But no...it was my mom, and she sounded upset.

"Mimme passed away this morning," she said.

Mimme was my mom's mother, and her health had been declining over the past year. She had come to live closer to my parents about 14 months ago and had been living in a lovely nursing home in Rockwall when she passed away.

She wanted to be buried in her hometown in Arkansas, where she had lived out the vast majority of her 89 years. So on Wednesday I headed out in a car with my sister, brother, niece, and nephew to the small town of Carlisle, Arkansas, not far from Little Rock. The funeral service was on Thursday morning.

During the trip, I got to hear some good stories about Mimme in her younger days. My mom's old friend, Debbye, said she had always compared Mimme to June Cleaver. Mimme always kept her house in tip-top shape. It seems like she balanced my grandfather well. I have heard crazy stories about my grandfather (who died when I was just 5 months old). He would regularly bring home all sorts of animals for his two girls--everything from bunnies, turtles, and chickens to foxes, skunks, and alligators! He ran a service station and had long hours on his feet. Mimme was always there to take care of him at the end of the day and keep her household running smoothly.

Of course, those aren't my memories of her. I was the youngest grandchild, so I came along much later in her life. I remember that she had a beautiful garden full of Tiffany roses (she named some of them Angela and Suzanne so that my sister and cousin wouldn't feel left out). She lived in a big (or at least it seemed huge to me then!) white house with some fun things that were there just for us kids--like a little organ where I first learned to make "music."

I actually lived with her for five weeks when I was six years old. My parents had learned a loophole in our education system; my birthday is on September 7, but the cut-off to get into school is September 1 for Texas schools. My parents felt I was ready for school and didn't want me to stay at home for another year. So, I was packed up and sent off to live with Mimme in Arkansas for the first few weeks of first grade, since Arkansas' cut-off is October 1. Once I was officially established as a student there, I was able to transfer to the Texas school system. Voila! Genius.

Mimme took good care of me during those weeks. I remember her keeping her freezer well-stocked with ice cream sandwiches, my favorite treat. She took me with her each week to her beauty salon, where I sat and drank a Coke from a glass bottle while she sat next to her friends, each with a hair-drying dome over her head. We would go to the general store, where she would let me spend all my change on nickel candy. She even took me to get my ears pierced for my 6th birthday, which I celebrated there. (I remember when we called to tell my dad--he was not too pleased!)

That was all a long time ago, of course. Unfortunately, my Mimme didn't really have much of a life there at the end--she would sit in her room most of the day, without a desire to read, do puzzles, or even watch TV. She would only venture outside her door for meals, and she had no inclination to talk to other residents or take part in the many social activities offered. She was mentally sharp until close to the end, but she just didn't have the drive to do very much. It is sad that this is the Mimme I remember more than the one who took care of me all those years ago.

Even though her death was somewhat expected, it was still hard. For me, it doesn't really bother me much that she is gone--she didn't seem very happy here at the end anyway. But I just hope above all hope that she was a believer. Those who knew her in her earlier days seem to think she was, so that's good. But I wish that I didn't have to have that doubt. There is nothing sadder than going to a funeral for someone and not knowing whether they ended up on the right side of eternity.

I do hope Mimme was a Christian. I hope she knew that Jesus is the only way to heaven. I hope she understood that we are all sinners, and Jesus humbled himself and came to earth as a man so that he could live a perfect life and then die for our sins, the final sacrifice. Because the only way to get to heaven is to believe that.

And I hope that if you, dear reader, aren't in a place where you know for certain where you are going when you die, that you will settle that right now! You can find more information here. It is the most important decision you'll make in your life.

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

Glory Baby

On Thanksgiving morning, I woke up and took one of these:


Yup! That's a positive pregnancy test! I was so excited--Scott and I have been wanting to add to our family and have been praying for a baby. I woke Scott up at 7:00 to show him the results. (Yes, I thrust a pee stick in his face first thing in the morning. Isn't that a wonderful way to wake up?)

We went to Thanksgiving at my parents' house and told our immediate family members. Of course they were all very happy for us.

On Monday, I made an appointment with my Ob/Gyn for mid-December.

On Tuesday, I started spotting a little. I called and talked to a nurse at my doctor's office, and she said that what I described was probably normal and to just call back if the bleeding got heavy or if I started to have pain. That night I went out to dinner with some great girlfriends of mine, and during the evening I started to bleed more. By the time I crawled into bed that night, I knew something had gone horribly wrong. I cried myself to sleep while Scott held me tight.

On Wednesday, I woke up in pain. I called the doctor's office, and they asked me to come in that afternoon. I made an appointment for 2:20--by then I was bleeding heavily. At the appointment, the doctor gently confirmed what I already knew--I had lost the baby. I was only about 5 weeks pregnant.

Although this experience is hard and painful, I trust God. I know that He has my little baby in heaven right now. I imagine there is a special place there for babies who never even got a chance to make it out of the womb.

There is a song from Watermark (now just Christy Nockels) called Glory Baby that keeps going through my head. I wanted to share some of the lyrics here with you:

Glory baby, you slipped away
As fast as we could say baby....baby
You were growing
What happened dear
You disappeared on us baby....baby

Heaven will hold you
Before we do
Heaven will keep you safe
Until we're home with you....

Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there's a day
When we will hold you, we will hold you...

But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
Til Mom and Dad will hold you
You'll just have heaven before we do

Sweet little babies
It's hard to understand it 'cause we're hurting
We are hurting
But there's healing
And we know we're stronger people
Through the growing and knowing
That all things work together
For our good
And God works His purposes
Just like He said He would...

I can't imagine heaven's lullabies
And what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing
Heaven is your home
And it's all you'll ever know

My friend Vickey sent me a card yesterday that reminded me that God's hands were big enough to create the world, and they are also strong enough to heal me and gentle enough to hold me. Amen to that.

Beyond the Clouds of Death (the Shoah or Holocaust)

November 9, 1938, and into the next day, has come to be known as Kristallnacht or The Night of Broken Glass. Some say it marked the beginning of the Holocaust also known as the Shoah. In our studies: "The 2000 Year Road to the Holocaust" - An interfaith project of the greater Rochester community
http://www.holocaustroad.org/ I'm finding that this road started many years before WWII.

I wrote this poem to try to honor those that suffered and died; honor those that fought to stop injustice against people; and to promote forgiveness and compassion for all people so this may never happen again...

May we all learn to Love our neighbors as ourselves. May we learn to Forgive. May we teach and Live Compassion and Tolerance, May we  learn to live in Peace for we are all brothers and sisters of the world. Once we realize  and incorborate these things into our lives, Peace may truly have a chance.

Beyond the Clouds of Death

(The Shoah or Holocaust)

Atrocities so horrible

make up the Holocaust

Where people were not people

And humanity was lost

Torture, Death, and Hunger

The Shoah's horrendous shroud

And in the background burning

The fumes of human clouds

To break the spirit and the lives

Of this almighty clan

It was power and insanity

That fed Hitler's plan

The devil came to life these days

the world came tumbling in

People blindly followed

Minds controlled from deep within

Lies and fears and blinded eyes

The massacre kept going

Like drones work was carried out

As hate and fear kept growing

The suffering unbearable

For people once so strong

Now shadows of their prior selves

How did life go so wrong?

Stomachs always grumbling

Little rest from dusk till dawn

A people thought forgotten

Their hope was all but gone

Yet in the bleakest darkest days

Within the souls of some

Remained the faith of ages

Though bodies beat and numb

For silent prayers not silent

They reached to God's own ears

He answered into hearts and minds

Gave courage to ease their fears

Where was God in all this horror?

Is what I hear some say

Just like the dove for Noah

He's there on the bleakest day

Look into the darkest corner

God's there behind the scene

He's teaching some compassion

Opening eyes to all that's been

Stars at night gave Peace to some

As silent prayers went up

Their twinkling light acknowledged

They'd reached God's holy cup

Like manna from the heavens

God is in the rain

Quenching thirsts and washing souls

Relieving some of the pain

Too many people did not survive

The hell that was around

Yet deep inside, lived a strength

A Faith that would astound

To honor those who's hope was strong

We must learn to forgive

In the end God's Law and Love

Will teach us how to live

Remember all the hate that spun

Out of control back then

But focus on God's strength that lived

Inside women, children and men

As in the Exodus of old

Tyrants are crushed and killed

Hope remains inside of those

That know what God has willed

The Promise of a better life

Like a phoenix in the sun

Out of the fires of hate and hell

With Faith in God, we've won

It's hard to see the rainbow

Beyond the clouds of death

Yet, in the deepest part of us

It's in our very breath

Let's heal the wounds of this hell

When insects fared better than man

Douse the hate and breathe upon

Forgiving embers if we can

Let the flames, this time, be from

Compassion and from Love

Melt hate and fear and intolerance

With God's Word from above

So live with God as Moses did

Beyond the trials of man

Teach the past but not the hate

and Honor the Great "I AM"

written with Peace, Hope, Love and Light

by Nina Pauline Ploetz

To:

Acknowledge the Holocaust through the Strength of persecuted people

Morn those that died before their time

Honor the surviving hearts of Faith, to show their Hope survived

Thank all those who fought for Tolerance, Compassion and Love

Teach Peace, Hope, Love and Light to future generations

Let a quiet Healing voice be heard above the crowd of pain

Guardian Angels

Have you ever had self doubts and fears? Fears of failure, of success, of change, etc...? They can sabotage you and it's your own doing. I've been having this inner battle with sharing my writing on another level .. Despite myself, things are falling into place for a joint venture to possibly put together a book of poetry along with another's wonderful photo's. I have lots of support from the outside; it's my inside that holds me back.... "am I good enough?", "am I worthy?" , the "should I's?"..... I was away at a kind of a Spiritual Retreat this past weekend and was given even more positive reinforcement on this potential venture.... After I attended a workshop on Friday night, I couldn't go to sleep so I sat on the porch to meditate. It wasn't long before I had to find pen and paper..... So here goes another one.....

Guardian Angels

Of Love and Light and Spirit be

Forever fighting to be free

Let go of fear and let go of fright

Guardian Angels guide me tonight

Be still and go inside and see

The Light of Hope that lives in me

My fear it stops me from my gift

If I would let go my fears would lift

Look to the Light that shines from above

Let in the Spirit, be filled with Love

So write dear pen and open the mind

Let me see Light and not be blind

Please guide my hand to touch your face

Fill my heart with your Healing Grace

For with you my Angel as my guide

I know God's Light will now abide

You guided my hand and my heart it follows

Gliding across paper as a flight of swallows

Let my imagination take wings and fly

As to doubts and fears; I say Good Bye

For my Guardian Angels to do their task

I get on my knees, open my heart and ask

I thank you dear Spirit with all of my heart

You've Blessed me and now I must do my part

written with Love and Light and a Thankful heart;

by Nina P. 8/14/09

Sunday: A Good Time Was Had by All

Sunday morning
We managed to all get to church without too much bickering. I have a personal belief that Satan attacks Christians with extra vigor on Sunday mornings. It seems like he tries to do everything he can to stop folks from making it to church. He makes the bed extra comfy so you want to snooze longer, makes the kids want to sleep in just on that day of the week and no other day of the week, makes your coffee taste extra good so you forget what time it is, then gets you all in a rush so that you are on edge and start snipping at your family.

Well, okay. Maybe all of that only happens to me. :)

But anyway, we all got to church relatively well on Sunday morning. I was running late and my coffee did taste extra good, but we didn't bicker, and the kids even behaved pretty well while we were getting ready. I got to church and soon welcomed in a little over 20 third grade girls to my classroom. It was "Story Sunday," which we do once per month in the summer. Someone from the church comes to talk to the kids and shares his or her testimony. This week, a wonderful lady named Francie came and spoke. She made a couple of points that I thought were just fabulous.

She talked about how when she grew up, she was in a church that didn't really encourage personal Bible study. She knew a lot about God, but she didn't really know God. To give an analogy, she asked the kids, "How many of you know who George Washington is?" They all raised their hands. "Okay, but how many of you know George Washington?" Of course the point is that we can study a person and learn a lot about him, but still not really have a personal relationship with him. God doesn't want that! He invites us to know Him personally.


Sunday afternoon
We came home, ate lunch, and got the kids ready for a nap. I put Caleb in bed, and while Scott sat down to rock Isaac to sleep, I grabbed my coupons and reusable bags and headed to Kroger. Oh, the joy of bargain shopping without kids! :)

Kroger has their Mega Deal event going on here in North Texas through Tuesday. If you buy 10 participating items, you get $5 back. So basically you get an extra $.50 off per item. Combine that with coupons, and you have some good deals! Even without coupons, there were some good deals. I got 70 items yesterday and spent $75.21. I saved $106.32. I could have saved a larger percentage, but I did get some splurge items: $4.99 for a big bag of organic raisins, $7.99 for Huggies, $2.99 for organic yogurt, etc. But here are some highlights:

Smart Balance butter (tubs or sticks) $.94
(on sale for $1.99, buy 10 and get it for $1.49, use a coupon for $.55 off that is actually IN the store right next to the butter)

Simply Potatoes $.99
(combine a bag of the potato and onion Simply Potatoes with some eggs and cheese, and you have an easy, quick weeknight meal!)

Chex Mix $.49
(on sale for $1.99, buy 10 and get it for $1.49, use a coupon for $.50 off one which Kroger doubles to $1 off)

Irish Spring soap 3-pack $.99

Quaker Snack Cakes $.49

Listerine Mouthwash $.49
(on sale for $2.99, buy 10 and get it for $2.49, use a coupon for $2 off--no longer available online)

Kleenex $.83
(on sale for $1.49, buy 10 and get it for $.99, use a coupon for $.50 off 3)

Kraft cheese $1.49
(not the best price ever for cheese, but good for the cubes and snack packs that are also included in the sale)

I also splurged on some VitaminWater. I really like this stuff! They are regularly about $1.25 or more, but you can get them for $.50 each during this sale.

One note on these mega-deals: make sure you count your items! You have to get them in exact multiples of 10 to make the most of the deals. I got 60 participating items, and I triple-counted them all before I got to the checkout. I'm sure I looked pretty funny, standing in the toothpaste aisle shuffling all the stuff around in my cart and muttering "1...2...3...." to myself. ;)

I see from some bloggers that Kroger is running another very similar mega-deal next week, so many of these deals may continue through next Tuesday.

********
When I got home from Kroger, I expected Caleb to be up (he rarely naps) and I was going to pick him up and take him with me on a run to Market Street for a few more grocery deals. But when I got home, it was a picture out of The Napping House--everyone was asleep. Caleb had actually fallen asleep, and Scott had dozed off while rocking Isaac in his chair.

So I let them sleep for awhile as I put away the groceries. At 5:00, I woke everyone up. They all decided to go to Market Street with me, so we made a family evening of it. We haven't been to Market Street in several months, but this week they had a few good deals in their ad, and they sent me a $5 off a $25 purchase coupon.

They have a little eatery area there, so we decided to eat there as a treat and then shop. It was good stuff! Scott had a yummy panini with fruit, I had a chicken Caesar salad (with fat-free dressing), and Caleb had a piece of pizza (part of a $1.99 kids' meal). I had brought along an avocado and some snacks for Isaac, so we were all set.

After we ate, we set out shopping. Market Street is not a place I'd shop every day--their prices are just too high, in general--but it's fun to visit now and then. It's cheap, air-conditioned entertainment for the kids as they point out all the different items. They have "little carts" for the kids, which Caleb adores. They sell flax seed and steel-cut oats in bulk at a good price, too.

We spent $24 and got a good bit of stuff. Then we came home, I bathed the boys, and it was bedtime. All in all, a good day!

STEADY LIGHT OF HOPE

(This was my Steady Light of Hope the other morning)

Going through an old thought for the day I came across this one that unfortunately, sometimes hits home.

When illness strikes, loneliness, despair, pain, hurt, death, fear, etc….. Find your

STEADY LIGHT OF HOPE

“No Matter how dark the situation, let me always hold on to the steady Light of Hope.”
( www.thoughtfortheday.org.uk )

When I’m right in the thick of things, my darkest moments, my deepest despair; it seems impossible to find a steady Light of Hope. All you see is darkness. No windows, no doors, just deep sorrow, loss, despair, pain, loneliness, fear…. How can they say there’s even a glimpse of hope let alone a steady Light of Hope?

A lot of twelve step programs say you have to hit bottom before you can start the healing. Sometimes, that’s all too true. When your down and out and you can’t get any lower, you have to look up to see the rim of the gutter….. And there it is….Look Up! … When all seems hopeless/darkest and the pain is so deep it hurts; your chest physically aches, that’s when you begin to crawl… reaching for whatever you can grasp…. , and you reach up to grab the rim of the gutter… all the sudden your on your knees… looking up. That’s the coal warming. When all that comes out is “God /Universe/Devine why, how, where, stop…Please!??” That raw guttural plea turns into a prayer of desperation. It’s in that asking for deliverance that healing can begin. That dark coal in your heart starts to warm and glow. The ember starts to take hold. Your hand reaches up to grasp Hope. It’s then that things begin to change. Once the “prayer” or “cry” of desperation is uttered, there’s no going back. Coal may take a while to warm and glow but its fire heats deep and its glow lasts long and can be seen through the darkness.

In the darkest dungeon, there is a glimmer of Light when they slide nourishment towards you. There is companionship in the quiet mouse that visits you every night. There is communication with the cricket that sings to you. All these small Steady Lights of Hope are around you even in your darkest dungeon. Look around see, feel, taste, touch, hear the heart beat of life, of Hope in the silence of despair. You are not alone. The Great Creator puts these unassuming beacons to guide us, to be with us even in our darkest days.

Focus on the glimmer of Light. Find comfort in the companionship around you. Listen to the songs of nature, taste the cool water that washes over you, easing pain. Touch the healing hand reaching down.
Reach up to the Light. Look up and see the steady Light of Hope beaming down on you. You are not alone.
That comforting smile from a nurse; that warm cup of tea/coffee being offered; the driver that motions for you to go ahead of them; that unexpected coin you find on the ground; the neighbor that waves good morning to you; the sunshine that warms your face; the breeze soft as an angel kiss cool on your cheek; the coo of a newborn baby; the chirp of a bird; the unconditional love given by your most precious pet; the list is endless for examples of the “Steady Light of Hope”. We may not recognize them at first when we are in our deepest darkest place, but they are there: ever present, always waiting for us.

Focus on the Lights that are around you and the darkness and shadows will fade. For up above the darkest clouds lies a Bright and Glorious Universe of Light. A Light so bright that it will fill your soul with Love and Peace. A Light of many colors creating a glorious Healing Rainbow of Hope. Reach Up and take the Hand of Love and you will find your Steady Light of Hope.

May you find healing and comfort even in your darkest situations. May you hold on to your Steady Light of Hope and find Peace and understanding. May your dark clouds lift giving way to the Healing Rainbow of Hope.
Love and Light, Nina P.

In Silence...

When I really started feeling the "calling" to write poetry, it came from a need to express comfort to those that have lost. First with the loss of my father many years ago and then throughout the years with friends and family that have lost loved ones. Some one said my writings all "sound the same", and maybe part of that is true. As I look back on my old writings, there are many written to comfort people that have lost loved ones. By putting feelings and memories into words, I try to acknowledge the heart felt pain, and transition emotions to those that offer comfort, hope and acknowledge the joy of the life once shared.

This one was written for a friend who lost their spouse. You can exchange he or she for they if it carries more meaning for you. Originally it was she. In Love and Light, I share yet another...

IN SILENCE

What do you do when someone’s gone away?
Words seem shallow; so much more I want to say.

I sit and think, My heart aches for you.
Your pain, your sorrow, what can I do?

Everyone gathers the support is abound
Afraid to be alone yet don’t want anyone around.

It’s a pace with no name there’s nothing you can do,
For it’s nowhere at all but inside of you.

In silence you sit, watch, listen and wait.
You feel and feel and want out; there’s no gate.

The pain of the loss overtakes your breath
This place hurts as you feel their death.

It’s dark and damp and oh so cold
You can’t go on there’s no one to hold

A chill you feel then sweet softness so warm
Across your neck, your cheek, your lips…no form

In silence you see a light it glows
Your holding your breath, the silence grows

A thought it comes and touches you
A smile it brings as only they can do

Memories fly and laughter it comes
A fragrance you taste on your tongue

The light is bright as thoughts go by
Times together; they seem to fly

Memories flood in. Oh please let them stay?
Oh God why did you take them away?

A silent touch you feel; your heart skips a beat
A voice, their voice, you get up on your feet

You’re alone, you’re alone ;you tell yourself out loud
Your head spins, heart races, you feel as if a cloud

This place inside of you isn’t really that bad
It’s a place where it’s even ok to get mad

The loss you feel.. Once here… now not
Your gut wrenches with all the pain you’ve got

Let the silence come again inside of you
Listen, wait, feel; there’s nothing to do

Acceptance of all this, it comes with Love
Wisdom beyond ours; it comes from Above

Listen to your memories in sweet quietness

Look past the pain and the emptiness

Soon you will find this quiet place that you have
Has healing powers, much as a salve

Unnamed feelings with no way to express
Come, find Peace in silent reminisce

How great is the loss of your lover, your spouse
At times you may feel so alone in your house

In silence just listen, they’re there by your side
At the same table with arms open wide

They want you to feel and know their all right
As angels watch over you all through the night

I know I babble and make little sense
But feelings and words build life, not a fence

Raw emotions we have and don’t know what to do
Just listen and know that we are here for you

To walk and to talk or just sit and be
You’ve touched many lives and are like family

I don’t sit and judge that’s not who I am
I’m a watcher of life and try not to condemn

I offer to you myself as a friend
To hold if you want when tears have no end

You don’t know me that well but know this as true
As a friend in your life, I’m here for you

I believe in this place as I’ve described above
I found it first with loneliness, anger; not love

As time passes on and fond memories come
This silent place actually starts to hum

The loneliness fades and so does the pain
Even tears of your loss come and go like the rain

Memories can hurt as they pull at your heart
You’ll always wish that you’re not far apart

Times a great healer as is God Above
Hang on to your friends and gain strength from their love

Remember in silence your lover’s right there
By your side blowing kisses that brush through your hair

They loved you, and love you with all of their heart
Just know in your silence, you’re never apart.

Written with Love and prayer by Nina P. 12/2000

Thought for Today: Deep Within

From: Thought for Today: http://www.thoughtfortoday.org.uk/

Deep Within:
Just as the highest tower needs a deep foundation, so too our higher thinking is based on going deep within. (Thought for Today 5/29/09)

Its funny this Thought for Today came today. I was just reading a site called the “Zen in You” and her post on May 27th, 2009 was on Foundations for human beings; spirits, and persons. (Wow…I said that? Author: Caroline, http://thezeninyou.com/wordpress ) There were some amazing responses to her post.

Here’s what I wrote:

When I think of foundations I think of being grounded: in balance with God, the Universe, and self. Centered in the Trinity, there is unconditional Love, Hope and Peace beyond all understanding. The foundations for humans as beings, spirits and as persons, for me, blends into the Love and energy of all that was, all that is, and all that will be: a continuum of all. I find this in nature, meditation and prayer. Your photo’s say what my words can not. Thank you for this post and for sharing your photo collage.Love and Light, Nina P.

How true it is that at the base of everything meaningful is a strong foundation. From Faith, to Love, to Relationships, to Business, to Friendships, to Life itself, a deep and firm foundation is essential. “Higher thinking is based on going deep within.”

In the craziness of day to day life, questions come rushing in from all over the place. We’re able to respond and get the job at hand done quite easily. Yet when we’re quiet and alone, those deeper, harder questions come. You know the ones that hit the heart and, at first glance, may not have an answer….. “What’s the meaning of Life?”; “Why am I here?”; “Where is God?”; “Is there a God?”; “Is there life after death?”; “Will I ever find true Love?” etc… You know, the hard questions, the self doubting questions, the disturbing questions, we all have them.

Don’t you also find that when you’re alone with yourself, meditate, pray, be one with nature; listening to that deep rooted voice in your soul, the answers are there? When we step out of the mind and into the depths of the soul/spirit we can hear the Higher voice. How can we know if it’s the right voice? If it comes from pure LOVE it is the right voice; the Higher Voice. Listen, its there, deep within, firmly founded in your soul… Listen.

May you find your foundation firm and deeply rooted and may you go deep within and listen to your Higher voice, your Higher thoughts and find Love, Hope and Peace.

Love and Light,
Nina P.

National Day of Prayer

Today is the National Day of Prayer. To me, and you'll have to pardon the comparison, this is a lot like Earth Day. I mean, I don't need a special Earth Day to remind me to recycle or consume less. It's important to me, so I do that stuff every day of the year.

And I certainly don't need a National Day of Prayer to remember to pray. It's like breathing to me. It's part of who I am. I can't imagine going a day without praying. I personally couldn't get through the day without talking to God, and I have no idea how people who are not believers can find any real satisfaction in their lives without Him. He brings me a joy and inner peace that is simply not found anywhere else.

So, here's to making every day a day of prayer!

Happy Graduation

HAPPY GRADUATION

Graduation is here and it’s time to say
God Bless your future come what may.

The roads been hard but you’ve made it through
Since it’s done, now what to do?

The classes, the grind, and teachers comment
Stand in your mind no more to lament

The world’s your oyster, is what some say
What ever that means, just seize the day

Life is hard but you can win
Trust in the Lord and try not to sin

He said; “ask and you shall receive”
To do this, you must always believe

College or work, or whatever‘s your lead
Doing your best you’ll always succeed

You may be tempted by many things
Trust in the Lord and all that He brings

Through ups and downs, He is your guide
Stand strong in Faith and feel His Pride

Your life’s a canvas, a painting in part
God’s own masterpiece; you’re His Great Art

You don’t know what the painting will be
Walk with the Lord and you will see

All of your moments keep adding a stroke
The painting’s yours, no one can revoke

Dark lines are added not to give fright;
Instead they give depth to all that is bright

Your painting is crafted by His Almighty hand
To deepen our lives as is His command

So stay strong in Faith, Courage and Love
Know that His guidance comes from above

Graduation’s a time, a Journey to start
Have fun, enjoy and keep God in your heart.

Written with Faith/Hope and Love,
by Nina P.

Mastery is a Journey.... ...

As part of a "martial arts/meditation" class I was taking, we had to read and write our thoughts on George Leonard's book: Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long Term Fulfilment (If you have the chance, read some of his work...very insightful...)

Below is my interpretation inspired by George Leonard:

Mastery’s a Journey

Written by Nina P. (4/1/2007)

Inspired by the book:
Mastery
The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment
By George Leonard

Life, it is a journey

of Mastery or not
A choice that is all ours

of many that we’ve got

Like a child learns to walk

at first it seems too hard
Letting go of inhibitions

to change our inner guard

Step by step you’re on your way

Small steps are for a while
Persistence and with patience

you’ll be walking with such style

The path it may be long

like some great distant star
With consciousness, awareness

you’re sure to get that far

Practice and then practice

the art of your own walk
Finding Joy in the journey

that’s walking with the talk

The Master he continues

learning as he goes
Loving all the pathways,

even the plateaus

The Dabbler he may start,

and stutter, and then stop
The Obsessive feels that he

must always be on top

The Hacker may just settle

for the middle ground
Never reaching deep inside

to see what is around

The value of this Mastery

is not just a quick fix
If that is what you want,

then you can call it nix

Try patient dedication

I know you’ll persevere
For what was once so far

is simply now quite near

Homeostasis,

it is what our bodies need
Finding our own balance

it is our soul to feed

There are five keys,

to unlock the Master’s door
Keep on the path, be patient,

and there will be much more

Key one is find a Teacher

one that you do trust
Knowledge, values, and great skills

they all are a must

Then you must be willing

to learn from their command
For Master, Teacher, Learner

they change from hand to hand.

Practice and then practice

is key number two
It’s try, and try again

in everything you do

The Journey for the journey

not the goal at the end
Loving all the practice

is the message that we send

Surrender of yourself

as your Teacher has taught
Surrender your successes

is to farther your own thought

Be a fool and be humble

and surrender all your pride
Wobble and then weave

like on your first bike ride

The key to surrender

is key number three
No experts, only learners

surrender and you’ll see

Intentionality

is key number four
Practice in the mind

that’s it, and so much more

Meditate, relax

be mentally aware
See yourself doing it,

as if you’re really there

This technique has been tried

and always proven true
A Master uses vision,

can that Master be you?

If Mastery is practice

and enjoying the plateaus,
The Edge is then a catalyst

that changes ebbs to flows

Lest we be the Dabbler

or Hacker deep inside
We must reset our limits

ride the wave in the tide

For in this last key,

we challenge of our self
Striving harder, reaching higher

towards the upper shelf

Plateaus they will shift

as we reach for higher ground
Safely practice with great purpose

your presence all around

Mastery’s a Journey

a Peaceful way to live
So lift your feet, start walking

the paths not mine to give

Your life will change immensely

such energy you’ll see
Use mind and body fitness

for that there is no fee

Get up, get out, and do

procrastinate no more
Face your fears and change,

be different than before

Acknowledge all the negatives

and put them in their place
Accentuate the positives

let Truth be your new face

Be gentle with yourself

but oh not too sincere
Prioritize your life

stay focused on what’s dear.

Look down into your dark side

but not to point of fright
For humor is a gift

that turns darkness into light

So keep on with commitments

take action step by step
Set goals and keep on moving

for pep begets more pep

Put all things in perspective

keep flow of energy
Rest when it is needed

it’s all part of Mastery

Follow rest with action

keep motivation strong
A Competitiveness nature,

keeps pulling you along

The pitfalls there are many

of self they do arise
Acknowledge them and move along

for you are not their prize

Take pleasure in the practice

each moment great and small
Be fully aware of everything

use your senses all

Nothing in life is commonplace

and nothing’s in between.
There are threads that join our every act

can infinity be seen?

A Masters Journey has no end

perfections never serge
For all the paths of Mastery

eventually do merge

Relax and Center

be Fully Present to begin
Feel power, life’s force energy

your Chi from deep within

Now Practice with Great Purpose

find Joy along the way
Mastery is Balance,

Awareness, and Learning everyday

Miracles...written after someone said "there's no such thing"...

Miracles:
Miracles are around
us every day if we but open our
hearts and souls to God and His Almighty
Blessings. The bee that buzzes by our ear, is a
blessing; the grass under your feet, is a blessing; the
song of a bird, the sound of rain, the smell of fresh cut hey,
the sun and clouds, the rainbow, the snowflake, all are

blessings; Miracles from above. Look around, feel around,
smell around, sense around you , you'll find your miracle
everyday. Its right there as God's gift to you......... Go to
a window and look out, or go outside if you can. If that's

not possible, you can still imagine a peaceful place,

so go ahead, Close your eyes, breath deep, feel the
fullness of life in that breath, open your eyes, and
open your heart, there it is, your very own
miracle, given to you by God's Blessings
every day. Did you find it? :the leaf
of a tree,
a whisper,
a flower,
a tear,
the wind,
the sun,
a smile,
Did you
find it?
Did you
find your
daily miracle?
:the inch worm, a puddle, you can hear, you can see, you can feel, you can breath, you woke up, you can smile, you can laugh, you can cry, you can read this e-mail...
Did you find your miracle? Did you find it?
If not, just open up your heart and soul and it will find you.... Nina P. 6/28/08

Goodbye to Someone You Love: was written for someone that lost their mother......A Sister's Love: was written fot the loss of a sister...

GOODBYE TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE

It’s never easy to say goodbye
It’s downright hard I will not lie

Your heart it hurts as if to break
Please take it away for goodness sake

For all you feel is pain inside
Why oh why did she have to die

To leave you here with all this pain
And all your feelings to many to name

Why oh why are some lives short
Why oh why is my retort

Thinking back on all we’ve lost
We realize life has such a cost

Have faith in God, for He is Love
Have faith He’s looking down from above

Find comfort in knowing she’s by His side
For it’s in His home she now abides

She’s gone but yet she’s right near by
She’s in your dreams singing lullabies

She may not be right here on earth
But she’s up in Heaven it’s her rebirth

When you sit quiet and are at rest
That’s when your memory is at its best

Remember the fun you both share
The Joy and laughter it seems right there

For in those thoughts she’s reminding you
How much you are loved in all you do

Time will heal your broken heart
And you will know your not far apart

The gentle breezes across your cheek
Are her angle kisses oh so meek

Her scent you smell you can almost touch
Her spirit is near you, know that much

And when your sad and missing things
Remember she’s in Heaven with Angel wings

Time will pass your life will move on
And there will be times you come upon

Smiles will come and warm inside you
That’s her pride in all that you do

For years from now you’ll remember when
She held your hand a way back then

Find comfort in knowing all of this too
That one day you’ll see her and all will be new

She’s waiting in Heaven with all that have past
With Love in her heart that will last and last

God promised us through the gift of His Son
Life in Heaven His free gift we have won

Grief is a part that we must get past
In order to find Peace in our heart that will last

So take time now and shed your tears
For God knows this and all of your fears

May God keep you and hold on to you tight
And may sweet dreams be yours through the night

May family and friends continue with Pride
Know that’s what she’d want deep down inside

Goodbye with Love is what I send
To Mother, Daughter, Sister and Friend.

Written with love Nina P. 2006

A Sister’s Love

A sister’s Love is never lost
It stays right in the heart.

All you do is think of her
And you’re not that far apart

So grieve you must its part of life
It’s something we must do

Then take a breath and look within
She’s there inside of you

Her smile, laugh and things she did
You see her standing there

Her angel kiss you feel the touch
It breezes through your hair

So go outside and then look up
For that is where she’ll be

The promise of the Son it shines
For all of us you see.

Find Peace and comfort as she rests
She’s walking hand in hand

With loved ones that have gone before
They’re in the glory land.

She’s waiting there, you see, right now
She’s just behind that cloud

Close your eyes and listen well
It’s her sweet voice aloud:

The song within the birds you hear
And babbling of the brook.

So be at Peace and go within
She’s there just take a look.

Many Blessings be upon you now
And with your family

For God did promise with the Son
We’d meet in Calvary

Written with Love by Nina P. 9/19/08

There is a Light in All of Us....

There is a Light in All of Us

There is a Light in all of us
If we but only look
So look inside it’s there you see
As written in The Book

When darkness comes as it will do
Rely on that Great Light
And soon the darkness fades away
As will that hard felt plight

Stresses come as life we live
It’s part of humankind
If all you see is dark and bleak
Desperation you will find

Pointing fingers all around
For isn’t that the cause?
“It’s him, it’s her; it can’t be me”
We say without a pause

It’s easier to look outside
Than to turn within
But when we look inside instead
The healing can begin

Self healing may be needed
But often we don’t see
Being part of us so long
It’s our only way to be

Let go of our complacency
Is hard but it’s a must
To lift that shroud of darkness
It’s the Light we must trust

Starting now we must look within
To heal us from the past
Cleaning out our closets
For healing that will last

Forgive yourself and others too
Feel changes come alive
For when our fear and pain collide
Only Hope and Love Survive

Remember after every storm
There is a rainbow of Hope
The Light beyond the clouds is there
Giving us ways to cope

So go on now and find the Light
It’s there inside of you
With Faith & Hope & Love you see
Grace and Light will see you through

By Nina P. Ploetz 3/19/09

Nina P's thoughts on : Generosity...

"Generosity: Do not hide the treasures in your heart in fear that they will be stolen - instead share them and find they multiply. " (Thought for Today http://www.thoughtfortoday.org.uk/)

As I like to say: when I write, a Hand touches mine,
so here it goes.....

In these times of loosing jobs and declining economy, it's hard to think of generosity. We want to keep, hoard, guard what we have: to keep us safe for the future, right?..... Well not exactly.... What good is keeping, hoarding, guarding what we have if we do not enjoy the life we are given? We live in fear and depression rather than living in Faith, Hope and Love. I can keep all I have and not share it with anyone. If I do, I'm always worried about: "What's going to happen? Will I be OK? will there be enough? What will I do? How can I get more?...." I'm sure you can add even more "What if's" here too, the list could be endless. All of these fears seem all to real. They are aren't they? again I say not exactly....

Lets turn some of this around before the stress level gets too high. Instead of the "What if's" lets ,focus on the "What Have's". Tomorrow is not a promise to us, if it happens, it is a Gift. Yesterday is gone and no matter how hard we try, we can't get it back. That gives us today.... now....... this very moment.
So lets do an assessment of now, this very moment. Look, feel, smell, hear, taste what you have right now where ever you are. Let's focus on the time of year: it's Spring!......I can touch rain that falls bringing with it Hope of new beginnings, I know that in stillness there is motion, I can see the Son shine and the the first signs of spring poking through the ground all green, new and fragile. I can feel the cool breeze of an angle kiss across my cheek, I can smell the earth of spring, I can taste the water that sustains life.

What does Spring mean to you? It means growth, renewal, fresh, hope, awakening, new life.... There is such a spirit of generosity in spring and so, many lessons it gives. That little sprout of green struggling it's way through the dark, soil, small and fragile at first, not knowing what lies ahead. It reaches up from the darkness of despair awakening, reaching towards a new life. It doesn't know if there will be food or water enough to sustain its life tomorrow. Yet it is there Today, growing, awakening, unfolding, giving of itself...

Take a walk outdoors, if you can, and look around until you find a little green starting to grow. (Or even a plant you might have indoors) It has no way of sustaining itself yet it grows (Faith). It has no way of making sure it won't get hurt or broken or even die tomorrow yet today, it is here, living, surviving, believing it will make it ( Hope). It has no money, no way to give, no means of generosity, yet it is here today for us to look at (Love).... You see, like life, it's all in how you look at it, what perspective you take. Do you look at it with the doubts and fears of what you don't have, or might not have? or , do have a perspective of Faith, Hope and Love? Do you Believe? .What's inside you?

In this time of early spring, coming from the dark, cold, dreary days of winter; didn't that little tiny frail bit of green poking through the soil give you a little Hope? Didn't it give you Smile and didn't it lift your heart a little and make you realize "Ah yes Spring Really is coming"? This frail little green sprout with "nothing" gave of itself to you.....

This lesson is for all of us. We must learn to give freely: a smile, a hug, a kind word, a hand out to someone in need, etc... be generous today. Try it!!

Give Hope through a smile today. Have Faith and Love in your heart. Walk around with a Positive Attitude and Smile! Yep that's all: Be Generous with your Smile and Positive Attitude of Love, Hope, and Compassion. Now take a walk and be aware of the people around you, their reaction to you. See how many look at you and smile back!!! How did it make you feel to have someone smile back at you? Did it lift your spirits? Did it make your smile broader, your heart fuller? Your gift of generosity just came back to you and multiplied. For you gave your smile generously,freely, and it was returned to you!!!!!
And guess what?....., now that persons heart was lifted and their heart renewed a little..... and ....... they now might smile at someone.... and the gift is passed yet again, and again, and again.... Your seemingly small gift has now grown beyond expectation...

So give away a little today and gain allot!! Take that treasure in your heart, share it and watch it be passed forward.... All this without any human control.... watch it grow.... Like that small bit of green, watch it grow stronger every day, watch it keep giving Hope and Love back to its viewer and all that's around. It may just turn out to be the most beautiful flower you'll ever see; a gift grown from the seed in your heart given away selflessly ... to all that look...

What started as a seed in the darkness of fear has survived the storms and hardships; now Awakens and Grows strong. Growing deep roots of Faith with Grace and Courage....Through the gift of Hope, Love and Light: the once small frail seed,has come out of the darkness, growing stronger in the Light, a gift of generosity, freely given... Be generous with these gifts of your heart and see how they multiply not only in your life, but those around you.....

May you find a true Spirit of Generosity Living inside you. May your spirits be lifted by the rainbows of Hope after the storms in your life. May you find Strength in the Son above, shining down warming your soul, encouraging you to grow. May you find Faith to live today without fear of what might come, but live today in the Love that is freely given to you... the Love that is inside you, sustaining you, and nothing can take from.... the Love and Hope you can generously give away; knowing that if you give Love and Hope, it will Multiply uncontrollably, gracing the lives of others as well as your own. With the seed of Love and True Light in your heart, there is an Awakening of Spirit and all things are possible.....

May God Bless you today and always and may the seeds that are planted, grow and flourish, in you, through you, with you always.

Nina P.